
"These are your basic career options."
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"These are your basic career options."
"…and don't let your cash buyout, stock options and lifetime medical benefits hit you in the button the way out."
"Sorry, but your good references don't match the passion of your bad ones."
"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"
"And where have you previously moused?"
"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"
"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."
'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'
'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'
"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"
"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."
"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."
"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."
"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."
"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."
'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'
'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'
Should not have put that suggestion in the suggestion box.'
"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."
...The computer says you can handle 20 more work
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'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'
ANOTHER FINE MESS, INC.
"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."
"It's a shame, excellent recommendations and a superb skill set but lacks the boiling hot all consuming ambition and ruthless desire for self promotion required as head of stationary procurement."
'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'
Batsford doesn't suffer fools gladly.
'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'
'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'
'We're very proud of you, Jenkins. Keep up the good work.'
"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."
'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'
"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."
'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'
'Hawaii can wait. These reports cannot.'
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