Career Humor Lovers Pillows

'Tell me why you want to work here. Tell me why anyone would want to work here.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

'It's settled then. Your people will meet with my people if they ever get me any people.'

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"So, Mr Canary, I see you have experience as a mine safety specialist..."

"You calm down."

'Gerald, it's so nice to see you finally getting closer to your employees.'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

Indecision and Outrage Trays

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

"It all looks fine to me."

"Any further comments? Alright then, we're adjourned."

'Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until next Monday?'

'Here's your workplace. You will find out company is not big on CCTV cameras or punch clocks.'

Two doctors holding hands

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'I fetch, but it hasn't helped my career any.'

Earl suspends his disbelief.

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."