Career Guidance Gifts

Career Guidance Office '...then again, what do I know; look where I work.'

"Life isn't about the money you make. Do what you love!"

Secretly, She's Always Hated Young Adam Kassan.

'Have you considered opera?'

'...and there's the DSS!'

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'

Careers guidance

"Have you ever considered biological terrorism?"

'Nobody ever said that being a youth pastor would be EASY.'

"Son, a living isn't something you make. It's something you endure."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Staff support"

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Reach for the Star.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

International Women's Day.

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."