Career Day Guest Gifts

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

Occupant.

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

"Under our new definition of 'what is a sale?', he hasn't made any this year."

"Got your e-mail and the answer is yes, I can pass you the stapler."

'How would you like to trade in our pork bellies pit?'

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

Dan tells me you're an architect. That is so cool! Thanks! Cloud architect, actually.

"It's a query from one of the applicants for the copywriters job asking 'wat was rong wiv his applicashun'?"

"A graphic designer? Really? What about all those discussions we had about engineering?"

'I don't know what happened! All I did was say I went into medicine for the money!'

"Apart from fifty foot away, where do you see yourself, say in the next three months?"

"I really enjoyed reading your CV, professor. However, we can't hire you, because you suffer from defective media image."

'We believe in seeing ability, not disability. In your case, we see neither.'

"You've been chosen to represent our establishment at 'Carrers day'. You're always careering from one crisis to the next"

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

Never make a doctors appointment on Take Your Kids to Work Day.

"I've enjoyed being a pet, but it's time for me to get a real job."

Resumes

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

'In today's economy, your '15 minutes of fame' will be replace by '15 minutes of job security.''

'If we want to get politicians to listen to us we need to do a little 'schmoozing'.'

110% Job Performance.

'I'm looking for a yes man who doesn't use the word yes, are you that man?'