Career Networking Event Gifts

'If we want to get politicians to listen to us we need to do a little 'schmoozing'.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

Networking

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Glass Ceiling

'We're looking for athletic people.'

'I don't understand. You've wasted the whole interview going on and on about what you know... I think you'd better start telling me who you know.'

'Gerald, it's so nice to see you finally getting closer to your employees.'

I work for a not for profit business. Mind you, two years ago it was a 'for profit' business.

'It could be worse. Imagine what it'd be like if we hadn't gone to that team building session last week.'

"We've come so far together...wouldn't it be great if they had frequent achiever miles?"

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'One thing about being in the drivers seat -- you pay for the gas.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I'm Kurt... this brochure will explain the rest."

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

'Now then, Simpkins. What makes you think you could become a circus clown?'

'I saw it as a networking opportunity.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'All of your references say you play well with others, but there's nothing in here about you actually doing any work.'

'So this is the company's new mission statement.'

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

You don't have to be mad to work here but Mwaaark!

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

All day I design high tech communication devices...yet at a party I'm lost without name tags.

"I know - it takes skill to sneak a peek at their tiny tags when you can't remember their names."

"I figure if I don't have that third martini, then the terrorists win."

"You've got to blurb me to her."