Career Day Survivor Gifts

'Who screened the career day speakers, Ms Phelps?'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Working hours.

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

"When I grow up, I don�t know whether to be a stunt amn or a train driver"

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"I'm so efficient I can screw up two assignments in the time it takes most people to screw up just one."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

Spam in inbox.

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

Information. Innuendo

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Is that the extent of your work experience, court ordered community service?'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"You may have heard some very slanderous rumours about this company."

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"Can you keep a secret, Fred? The truth is, I've never had a clue what curve it is I'm supposed to stay ahead of!"

'Where should I leave this?'

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"