Career Cruisers Gifts

"I'm not really driven. A dead-end job would be fine."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

Caged Businessman

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"What's your occupation?"

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Ace headhunters.

Planned service changes

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

"I don't get it. I got a job at a fulfillment center and yet I'm still miserable!"

'Get out there and keep your job!'