Career Cruiser Gifts

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Do you know the way to San Jose without breaking into a Bacharach number?'

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Caged Businessman

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."

"Why do we keep trying?""Because we need purpose..."

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

"Balance is essential, Ray. For example, this week, my life is purpost-driven, and I'll follow that with seven days of aimless drifting!"

Soldier, Statesman, Travel Agent

"I can handle a wide variety of work. In fact I've had ten different jobs in four months."

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

"However, should the need arise at Cyber-Biogenetics, for a trusty sidekick, we have your resume on file."

'The key to unlock my potential isn't in this building.'

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'