Career Conquistador T-Shirts

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

The trim reaper

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

Why am I running?

The Devil's in the detail!

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

A Learning Curve.

'He works in Acquisitions.'

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

'Buzz Off! I'm busy!'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

Delighted worker being propelled through the air on the back of the scale coming right off the chart

Contest to enter the University

'I'm too big for 'Goodnight Moon,' Daddy. Tell the story about that business deal where you crushed the little guys.'

'The question before us is: 'do we pounce on Acme industries and gobble them up and savage them, or do we roll over like a bunch of spineless pussycats and let Acme take us over?'