Career Conquistador T-Shirts

'Larry, you have everything it takes to go far in this company, but a word of advice: lose the laugh.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

The trim reaper

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

Why am I running?

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

The Devil's in the detail!

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

Supermarket Merge

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

A Learning Curve.

"It's not that you're a failure. It's that you completely lack the capacity for success."

'He works in Acquisitions.'

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

National corporate ladder of success monument.

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

"No man's going to stop me from getting to the top!"

'Buzz Off! I'm busy!'

Contest to enter the University

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

'I've had tight deadlines, if that's what you mean by performing well under pressure.'

'I'm too big for 'Goodnight Moon,' Daddy. Tell the story about that business deal where you crushed the little guys.'