Cardinal Gifts

'When I started this journey I was a curate.'

'As you suspected, Your Grace, these heretics refuse to embrace the principles of equality and diversity.'

"You'll find we have a great career structure, up to a point."

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

A Clean Sweep at the Vatican.

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

'I'm not sure that a more ethnically aware Pope is the right way to go.'

Pope tired of travelling.

I'm not pontificiating, am I?

Faithbook

Cardinal making bid for painting at auction with roman numerals

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

'Now that they've got a new Pope, there aren't any openings for old guys.'

Excommunicate Me.

Conclave and God.

Excommunicate Me.

Pope fed by nasal tub.

'Do you know brother I think this Papacy 'IS' going to be different.'

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...

'Thou shalt not covet a parking space.'

1154 - Election of Adrian IV the first English pope.

The ten ammendments

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Night-time halo

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'