Card Writing Gifts

"Writing Christmas cards shouldn't be this complicated dear!"

We make a Valentine's card out of edible flowers that's been dipped in chocolate. It's got EVERYTHING!

"No, I won't write your prescription legibly...you'd just google it and ask a lot of dumb questions."

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

Bingo night.

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

'I've lost my mojo, Marjorie.'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

Worm Bed

"Read the card! Read the card!"

'Stewart, why is the handwriting on your mom's last two attendance notes different?'

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

"Can't you read? Our shipment is late."

'I think I'll raise.'

Magicians monkey.

"Yeah, the Declaration of Independence is beautiful! What font is that?"

'... Geez! This guy's got the poker face from hell.'

'He was wearing his heart on his sleeve.'

"This app encrypts verbal communications. My doctor's handwriting is all we need to encrypt everything else."

Roses are occasionally red. Violets are violet not blue. I'm a pedant. So there!

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

Cheese Call Center

Get Well cards. They're constantly coming up with new get well cards, but nothing sells as well as the one that makes it clear the sender had the same thing and worse.

High Stakes Texas Hold 'Em

'Did you think that since so few people now use a manual typewriter, I wouldn't notice that you'd typed your penmanship homework?'

I love Fountain Pens

Valentines for Things

"Here's where you reassure me that this is work-related."

'First, you have to admit you have a gambling problem!'

Killing time, and vice versa....