Carbon Dating Enthusiast Gifts

The Loneliest Archaeologist

'We do a lot for the ecosystem.'

The Finger.

Corn Price Denialism

'Oh no! I've had tons wiped off my footprint.'

'They are calling for a demonstration on climate change.'

There! What are the posters? Eco club is promoting walking, biking or bussing to school. That's a good way to save gas! I'm so glad you agree! I need a ride to get them to school!

'Your credit card or mine?'

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'

Happy Hour

Carbon suicide

"... and then within a few hundred years nature reclaimed the Earth, erasing most evidence they ever existed. Any questions?"

"These are the best seats. Remember when they used to put us next to the bus stop?"

"This one's different, mummy, he wants me for my brain."

Carol sensed some negative vibes from her date when he pulled out a laptop and began perusing other women's profiles.

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."

The Mysterious World of Ligand Substitution.

"I like you, but only in a Facebook thumbs up kind of way."

Amy hatten men who were naan committal.

"Then we'll just mark it 'Do not shake before using'."

'Excuse me, is this cutlery carbon neutral?'

'I'd be willing to settle for a 'Mr. Wrong' who's trainable.'

Mammalicide.

The three bears complaining about their carbon.

'She won't go out with me, but she'll talk to me on the phone for $1.95 A minute.'

"Mine's a large one!" "How I wish!"

"I just don't need any more bald friends right now."

The radiocarbon dating technique.

"By using my exhaust, I've solved the carbon dioxide problem."

Honey? Can we talk about the issues in your sex-ed class? Ok, fine. Let's discuss all your dates before you met dad. Ok! Great talk. Wait! I've just got to unrepress those memories!

Man standing in front of a vending machine for cold drinks

"Please may I see you again - I find your opinions so easy to trash."

'Sorry, but I never let a guy club me on the first date.'

"I made a Christmas countdown calendar!"

Hey guys, whatcha doin'? Where ya goin'? Can I come? Invention of the third wheel.