Modern Dating Reflections Gifts

"I like you, but only in a Facebook thumbs up kind of way."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

'Let's do lunch.'

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.

'Your credit card or mine?'

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"It's over between us Brian. . . as soon as I've announced it on twitter."

"Sorry I'm late... I was getting our date approved by my lawyer."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"I love you very much, but apparently it's break-up season."

"I'm so shallow."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'No, I don't remember asking you to move in with me. Not only that, I don't remember who you are!'

"It's another letter from Mr. Wentworth. He writes, 'You up?' and then there are some pictures of a smiley face and an eggplant."

"He's in his late somethings, but he's cute."

Carol sensed some negative vibes from her date when he pulled out a laptop and began perusing other women's profiles.

"I think she's fully committed to me - She got an 'I'm with stupid' TATTOO!"

"We need to text about our relationship."

'Would it be too forward of me to give you a tweet?'

"Mom and dad's marriage wasn't made in heaven. They met online, so it was made in the Cloud."

"This one's different, mummy, he wants me for my brain."

Online Dating Tip 1: Don't Get Angry

'I'd invite you in, but I've given up jackasses for Lent.'

"I've lost touch with my roots, so I'm flying to Omaha but I'll be back Monday."

Happy Hour

"Like, weirdest date ever, last night, he kept trying to make eye contact!"