Car Mechanic T-Shirts

Brakes are fine. You need new glasses.

'I think this explains the funny noises coming from your engine.'

Turmoil change.

'According to our diagnostic computer, your car wants to have $800 spent on it.'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

'You need a new bobbin.'

'Oh come on, a little touch up paint and a soft cloth, I can buff that out.'

"Will it take you long to fix it ?.I have to be home in twenty minutes."

'We'll rotate them for free but you have to pay if you want 'em balanced.'

'Your bearings have gone.' 'Oh, sorry - I thought this was a garage...'

'This baby can do zero to sixty in four seconds flat!!'

"You need a new radiator. It's not your fault. It's not my fault. I blame the system, the cooling system."

"What do you mean I left garage too quickly?" - Mechanic still under car

"Ten percent off if you repeat those funny noises your car is making for the boys."

'I don't suppose you fellows know who did that to my car ...'

"How deep are those pockets?"

Spring Damage.

'Bad luck Grigson...another year and the first motor insurance policy would've been available.'

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

"John isn't very mechanical."

"Let's do this in your office. I hate talking shop in the shop."

Faulty car.

"My smart car sent me a text alert warning me that its engine is running hot."

"Maybe we should try getting by with just one car."

"It will cost $1,200 to fix that dent...or I could just make an identical dent on the other side for $19.99."

"... No, I don't think your car needs a new battery. I'd say your battery needs a new car!"

"Knowledge comes by taking things apart. Wisdom comes by putting things together."

"This diagnostic equipment has analyzed your engine, monitored your driving habits, and is now being harshly critical of your taste in music."

"The vibration may be a drive shaft problem – or opportunity."

"Check your oil? Empty your astray? Wipe your nose? Kiss youfeet?..."

"When are visiting hours?"

"Your car won't be ready until it changes it's attitude."

'And that's Doctor Jones, he used to be a Mechanic...!'

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'