Car Mechanic Prints

Brakes are fine. You need new glasses.

'I think this explains the funny noises coming from your engine.'

'According to our diagnostic computer, your car wants to have $800 spent on it.'

Turmoil change.

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

'You need a new bobbin.'

'Oh come on, a little touch up paint and a soft cloth, I can buff that out.'

"Will it take you long to fix it ?.I have to be home in twenty minutes."

'We'll rotate them for free but you have to pay if you want 'em balanced.'

'This baby can do zero to sixty in four seconds flat!!'

"You need a new radiator. It's not your fault. It's not my fault. I blame the system, the cooling system."

"What do you mean I left garage too quickly?" - Mechanic still under car

'I don't suppose you fellows know who did that to my car ...'

'Your bearings have gone.' 'Oh, sorry - I thought this was a garage...'

"Ten percent off if you repeat those funny noises your car is making for the boys."

Spring Damage.

"How deep are those pockets?"

'Bad luck Grigson...another year and the first motor insurance policy would've been available.'

'I need a really loud horn. My brakes are a bit spongy.'

Faulty car.

"Let's do this in your office. I hate talking shop in the shop."

"John isn't very mechanical."

"..Well so far it's two tut-tuts and a sharp intake of breath!"

"It's a loaner while mine's in the shop."

"When are visiting hours?"

'Before you say it's got some old parts, remember that you repaired it last time.'

The only thing loose in some cars is the nut behind the wheel.

'Awesome!'

'Is this the small engines class?'

'I understand you work on foreign models?'

'Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God?'

'All this car needs is a little love and affection.'

'Did you say that before you were a milker you used to work for McWit's Garage?'

Regular servicing protects your warranty, and your family from psycho mechanics.