Car Collector With A Twist T-Shirts

"If only fossil fuels had developed sufficiently, we could have taken the car"

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Do you buy cars here?"

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

Acme Flyswatters.

"It's a sports car. It's supposed to be uncomfortable."

Top model

James May

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'Now can we start a family Nigel?'

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

Millipede motorist

"Do you have anything smaller?"

Driverless tow truck.

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"We argue a lot about money--her library fines, my antique car collection..."

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

"Got any new monster trucks?"