Car Collector With A Twist T-Shirts

"If only fossil fuels had developed sufficiently, we could have taken the car"

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"It's a sports car. It's supposed to be uncomfortable."

Top model

Acme Flyswatters.

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'Now can we start a family Nigel?'

Driverless tow truck.

Millipede motorist

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

"Do you have anything smaller?"

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

"We argue a lot about money--her library fines, my antique car collection..."

"Got any new monster trucks?"

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."