Whimsical Car Collector T-Shirts

"Do you have documents to prove that this is your vehicle, sir?"

Mixed Doubles.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

Rocking Horse

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Top model

Acme Flyswatters.

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

Giraffe's Ice-cream.

Money Snowglobe

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

Hissy-fits for sale.

Driverless tow truck.

"Do you have anything smaller?"

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

Millipede motorist

"Got any new monster trucks?"

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

'So do you want one with an accelerator, or one with brakes?'

"Look at the inventory! The overhead is killing me! And you're haggling over the price of floor mats!"

'Don't let any SUV's pass us.'