Whimsical Car Collector Gifts

"Do you have documents to prove that this is your vehicle, sir?"

Mixed Doubles.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Rocking Horse

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"Do you buy cars here?"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

Acme Flyswatters.

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Top model

James May

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

Giraffe's Ice-cream.

Millipede motorist

Money Snowglobe

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

Driverless tow truck.

Hissy-fits for sale.

"Do you have anything smaller?"

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

"Got any new monster trucks?"

'So do you want one with an accelerator, or one with brakes?'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.