Colorful Car Collector Gifts

Cortina

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Do you buy cars here?"

When cartoonists drink too much coffee.

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

James May

Top model

Acme Flyswatters.

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

Millipede motorist

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"Do you have anything smaller?"

Driverless tow truck.

"Got any new monster trucks?"

'So do you want one with an accelerator, or one with brakes?'

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."

"I decided to invest in precious metals - I bought a new car."

"He spends most of his time outside. I have to force him to come in and play with something electronic."

"I'm sorry Joet...I shouldn't be mad. In fact, congratulations! You saved your money. You deserve the finest ride on the planet."

Play Rush Hour

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.