Cool Car Collector T-Shirts

"Baldo, I have no plans for a midlife crisis."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"What old school? This is my life."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"Do you buy cars here?"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

'They don't make cars like they used to.'

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

'How about a nice saloon?'

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

"It's a sports car. It's supposed to be uncomfortable."

Top model

"See that dog, Mr. Hendricks? That means you either have a shredded fan belt or your fuel pump is sucking air."

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

James May

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

Acme Flyswatters.

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'