Car Care Joker Pillows

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'It's your four basic food groups.'

Car wash / Mouth wash

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'How about a nice saloon?'

Balding gnomes

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

"Rolling pizza cutter."

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

"Our smart car sent a text saying it went to the car wash to get all the winter salt off it. Did it also have to say because I was too lazy to do it?"

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"The results of the X-ray show that you have very poor health insurance."

"5 second rule!"

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

"Has anyone fed the goldfish?"

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

'Now you do know she needs a bath every week and an oil change every 3000 miles?'

Wild Window Washers

'Hope that Medicare will kick in to help with my developing headache pain!'

"Fluffy will be giving you rour CAT scan."

"It's a high tech weather control device, whenever you wash it, it rains"

"I believe I told you quite clearly not to let his stitches get wet."

'Your heart's in great shape, but I'd recommend transplanting all of your other body parts.'

'The doctors say I'll soon be back on my feet.'

'Not yet! Not yet! Wait until he waxes it!'

'Tell the doctor to take his time -- I'm feeling better already.'