Car Buying Strategists T-Shirts

'Now that we've lulled you with our no-haggle sales policy, our finance manager will apply heavy arm twisting for dealer add-ons.'

"One year closer to college!"

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'I love to see you all so busy!'

'How about a nice saloon?'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

'And here's the toolkit.'

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"You have 24/7 roadside assistance to compensate for your new car's immediate depreciation."

What's that? A car phone. All I need now is a car.

'The brakes are a bit dodgy, but the very loud horn compensates for that.'

'If it starts, notice the roar of power.'

'I can lend 100% on the new car, but only 70% on the tank of gas.'

Please Don't Wash Your Hands While Driving

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

All you'd expect in a British car!

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

"... With a slightly above average mileage..."

"I know it can drive itself. I'd buy it if it could pay for itself."

"Zero to sixty in seven point eight seconds."

"This one's perfect if you're going green, but still don't know how turn signals work."

"According to my actuary tables, your loan will outlive you."

'And this is from our new line of self-driving, self-deprecating cars. It has a perfect driving record and it won't brag about it.'

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

"While our 'Haggle Apps' negotiate a price, let's go have a cup of coffee."

'I was looking for something more passive-aggressive.'

'Power steering.'