Car Buying Strategists T-Shirts

'Now that we've lulled you with our no-haggle sales policy, our finance manager will apply heavy arm twisting for dealer add-ons.'

"One year closer to college!"

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'I love to see you all so busy!'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

"Don't mix this up...I want a car with a moonroof. He wants one with a sunroof."

'And here's the toolkit.'

'How about a nice saloon?'

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

"You have 24/7 roadside assistance to compensate for your new car's immediate depreciation."

'If it starts, notice the roar of power.'

'The brakes are a bit dodgy, but the very loud horn compensates for that.'

What's that? A car phone. All I need now is a car.

"It's perfect for commuting to college. Definitely a learning experience."

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

'I can lend 100% on the new car, but only 70% on the tank of gas.'

Please Don't Wash Your Hands While Driving

All you'd expect in a British car!

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

"... With a slightly above average mileage..."

"I know it can drive itself. I'd buy it if it could pay for itself."

Used Cars. Spot. It seats six comfortably -- Of course, only four of them can stick their heads out the window.

'And this is our basic model.'

Used Cars. Think of it this way --- As things fall off, the miles per gallon go up!

"It used to belong to Larry Adler."

"Zero to sixty in seven point eight seconds."

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

'I was looking for something more passive-aggressive.'

"This one's perfect if you're going green, but still don't know how turn signals work."

"According to my actuary tables, your loan will outlive you."