Caption Enthusiast Gifts

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

"I love closed caption. I can watch the movie but feel like I've read the book!"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Billy. The Kid.

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Caption contest. After last year's 3,000 entries, we're doing it again! Visit Speedbump.com for info and send your entries to speedbumpcomic@comcast.net.

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

"You're my Mona Lisa."

Atomic Bear: Part 22

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 23

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

Framed Lady

Bingo's Time Out - Part Three

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

Atomic Bear: Part 14

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."