Canvas Comedian Gifts

Trash-talkin' artists

'See the way his eyes follow you round the room? That's how you knows he's good at portraits.'

'Shelf portrait'

'There ain't no intellectual messages in my work... I'm just too short to fill the whole bloody canvas!'

"I've got to admit, this landscape painting is much easier than I thought."

You Are Here

(Camel paintings)

Cat with Nine Still Lives

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Art Plagiarism

Couple painting each other - one turns to the other and says, 'Hon, let's hire a model.'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

"It's called 'Sold'."

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

'This is the questionnaire we need everyone to fill out about their views on excessive bureaucracy.'

Edith does ceramics strictly for her own amusement.

'Stupido Digitale! Chucka me a sloppy brush, there's a gooda chap.'

Man sitting at desk below sign saying 'Apologies' and two trays labelled 'Reserved' and 'Unreserved'.

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

How Art Works.

"It's too academic."

The painting Painter

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

Monet At Open Mic Night

Files of Doom

Looking at You Are Here Map "How do they know?"

Artist Painting Modern Art.

Painter Sheltering Under His Canvas.

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

'Apparently he only uses fugitive colours.'

THE GRAND TETONS EN BUSTIER

'I love an empty canvas...especially yours...'

'I didn't get a grant.'

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .