Canoe Comedians Gifts

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"Just a few more steps Wilson, we're still walking."

Acme Coffee Co.

Sorry, pal, no - there's no rest stop for the wicked.

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

"The water feature doubles as a plunge pool."

Queen Elizabeth 2. Yankees ). I told you they wouldn't think it was funny.

'I think they're getting ready for a feeding frenzy.'

'That's no oil slick Johnson.' - During whale flu season.

"Well, I don't know I'd call you lucky, but I do agree your boyfriend is quite a catch."

'Mummy-do you believe in cod?'

"Is 'Upstream' where we really want to be?"

'Ok, that's fine! You have dibs on the big one. I prefer the skinnier ones anyway. They struggle more vigorously which, I think, enhances the taste.'

'Hey! Not fair!'

'Sorry Charles, but according to my GPS-receiver, I'm still in my own territory...'

'Well, this is embarrassing.'

Worm hiding behind hook.

"Just the bait, please."

"Sean, are you teasing the seagulls again?"

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

A castawy sees a ship comiing closer and is excited by the prospect of rescue - but the ship plows right through the middle of his island.

Spawning in Seedy Waters.

Insulate Britain Fundamentalists

'He's running a high fever.'