Cannabis Lover Gifts

Bribes for Jabs

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

Pelobong

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

'Stocks are down. Bonds are down. Terrorism and natural disasters are up. Ask your doctor if medical marijuana is right for you...'

'Take two tokes of weed, Mrs Grunfield, and call me in the morning.'

"Medical marijuana hotline...press hash to continue."

"Nah, dude, I'm Tokey Bear. Smokey's on vacation. Hey you got any snacks?"

"All agreed? We buy low and sell high."

Hippie Edibles Co.

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

"You come highly recommended. I like that."

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

"Compliments of the chef - Our finest blend of 'Maui Wowie' dated 1972."

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

'Join us. There' a talk on medical marijuana and a pot-luck dinner afterward.'

Caterpillar Paranoia

"Remember the night in the Tetons when we smoked so much weed we thought we were hallucinating?"

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"Could you give me enough medicinal cannabis so that I forget about Brexit?"

"I am the Genie of the Bong! I will grant you... um... I am the Genie of the Bong!"

'I'm asking for a transfer to California because that's where you get the really good stuff.'

"My joints... are almost done"

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

"Say, Bill, how's that new crop of yours doing?"

Stoner Dog

'Smells good. What is it?'

As a doctor I can only tell you that the jury is still out as regards the benefits of cannabis in a medical context,however it is my personal opinion that this particular sample would make one bitchin spliff.