Canine Economists Pillows

'My dog is worried about the economy because dog food is up to 50p a can... that's about £3.50 in dog money!'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"What these product ideas lack is a little bite."

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

'So much for the will! Now, before you start celebrating, I suggest you think about inheritance taxes, because, according to my calculations, you will be left with. . ."

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

Investments: Still Open to New Investors - 'A fool & his money fund.'

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

'What, you again? And you'll want credit as usual, I suppose!'

'They're not our 'profits,' Mike. We like to think of them as the organic by-products of non-toxic capitalism!'

"It all started out just fetching sticks, and the business sort of grew from there."

Dog Training For The Ninties

I finally turned lead into gold, and now my financial advisor tells me he's turned it all back into lead?

"Good boy."

'The dollar fell against all major currencies this morning, and then, while getting up, bumped its head, REALLY HARD, on some sort of coffee table. I'm afraid that's all we have right now. Stay tuned for further updates.'

"Sorry about that. He doesn't like bikes."

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

Santander Bank pays out cash by mistake on Christmas Day

Dog makes a bank deposit.

'...anything else, sir?'

First savings & bone.

'I actually make a lot more money as a bookmaker than I ever did as a race horse...'

'There are change vibrations that only he can hear.'

"Do you take Diners Club?"

'Do you have a dog biscuit ETF, chew toy ETF, rawhide bone eTF. . .?'

Dog has a hi-yeild inbox full of bones.

'In the ebb and flow of today's economy, are we ebbing or flowing?'

"Oh yes, they're quite an intelligent breed."

100 Days Without Allowance Raise