Feline Economist Pillows

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

PET THEORIES

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

'Hard to follow...'

'So that we can have a productive meeting, please turn off all phones and put away any catnip toys.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

A Man and His Cat Read the Financial News.

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

'You should try giving yourself a bath.'

'All cats have 4 legs and fur. I have 4 legs and fur...It's too hard to think anymore.'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

"How do I get down?"

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

'Where I come from it's called collateral.'

'Naughty boy, I see you clawing my curtains.'

Lola Knows More Than She Lets On

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

"You must now empty the Kitty Litter of your mind."

"Son, the key to a happy marriage is listening, or at least purr and pretend you are."

"All right, Thompson. The board concedes that this quarter's economic growth does look very much like a kitty.

'Catch any good mice lately?'

"My one regret is not napping more."

"Listen, and I'll explain it to you again..."

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'Oh my God, dog biscuits are down!'

Today is the first day of the rest of your nine lives.

Zen Kitten

"The human is back - act normal."