Canine Crooner Gifts

'Here's a little tune I wrote about the job of chowing down and taking naps...'

'Where did he learn to carry a tune?'

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Toothless Rocker, "Oi, play the guitar with your own teeth !"

Bashful in Nashville

Rock musician playing a dog as a guitar

"I lost the groove."

'I can't write cheating songs because my wife's too insecure.'

Singer in a boat disturbing the fish.

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

Music from the moon.

I'm just saying he picked a hell of a time to have a Susan Boyle moment.

'Old blue-screen's back!'

'Oh, shut up!'

This'n song here, "She Done Me Wrong 'n' That Ain't Right," goes out to my high school english teacher.

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Dolly Parton

Rhinestone Accountant

The New Modern-Day Lament.

'One more yippeee-ki-yi from Roy Rogers back there,and i'm putting a hoof through that guitar.'

Banjo Player

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

'The song made it seem so much more serene.'

Scat Singing/Sdog singing.

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

"Gentlemen, let's pick it up again with 'I Been Livin' on Cold Navy Beans.'"

"I'm a rockhound."

'I got a case of the itsy-bitsy bonus blues...'

Bobby Biddle, world's worst country singer.

'He has a flair for the dramatic when I ask him to play dead.'

"Let me do all the singing."

Country Music Awards