Canine Crony Gifts

"It's me, Jess from college. I hang-glided into a mountainside earlier and for some reason I'd really like to chase a frisbee right now."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"Thank you for your e-mail. I will be out on a walk for the next twenty minutes and plan on barking remotely until my return."

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

"We need to channel his energy into something positive."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

Jumping Dogs

It's a Dog's life

The Inner Dog.

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

"He created Bitecoin."

'Tell me where she hides the treats and I'll get you a straw.'

"Can we forget about our dainty little tracks in the snow for five seconds and try to concentrate on what we're out here for?"

"We get in, we go down, we walk to the Park. I do my business; we're in and out in ten minutes. Anyone asks, you're with me."

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

"I hear he has more than bones buried."

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

'I bark, therefore I am.'

That'll teach you to chase cars!'

'So, the rumours are true! You have been friendly with the Postman! My own son! Shame on you!'

'Sammy's going to take you for a little walk.'

'Where did he learn to carry a tune?'

"I strongly suggest that you reinvent yourself!"

Here lie the earthly remains of Cal Can, beloved town dogcatcher.

"As you persist in pretending to throw that stick, I have retrieved something else. See you in Hell, Hal."

Dogs of the World Unite

He was notoriously quick on the draw

A Dog Who Never Got His Day.

Witches

'Look out - a snooper from Environmental Health.'