Canine Czar Gifts

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

"Hey, guys I found a way out."

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

It's a Dog's life

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'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

Cookie Thief

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

"You realize, I guess, that you've left your DNA on that."

Houdini's Dog.

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

"Hey! Wait a minute! We can't reach the doorbells!"

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

Quick, bring me a stencil. Banksy's dog.

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'I bark, therefore I am.'

Bad Dog!

"We were dog people when we met - what happened?"

Ice Cream Lover

Sadie, this counseling won't work if you don't say what's bothering you. You'll just get upset. I won't. You will too. Will not. Will too. Will too. Will not will not WILL NOT. It bothers me that you're childish.

'I seem to have reached the limit of my unlimited internet plan.'

"Rufus, stop being naughty with Mrs. Curtis!"

That'll teach you to chase cars!'

'I'm in a barking cessation training program. This is how I express my hostility.'

"We keep getting billed from DoorDash. Who here has been ordering all this food?"

Dogs of the World Unite