Canine Czar Pillows

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

"Hey, guys I found a way out."

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

It's a Dog's life

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'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

The four freedoms: freedom to bark, freedom from fetching, freedom to sleep on any piece of furniture, freedom from leashes.

Cookie Thief

"You realize, I guess, that you've left your DNA on that."

Houdini's Dog.

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

"Hey! Wait a minute! We can't reach the doorbells!"

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'I bark, therefore I am.'

Bad Dog!

"Rufus, stop being naughty with Mrs. Curtis!"

Ice Cream Lover

"We were dog people when we met - what happened?"

'I seem to have reached the limit of my unlimited internet plan.'

That'll teach you to chase cars!'

Dogs of the World Unite

'I'm in a barking cessation training program. This is how I express my hostility.'

"We keep getting billed from DoorDash. Who here has been ordering all this food?"

A Dog Who Never Got His Day.