Cellphone Czar Pillows

Back To School: Turn of cell phones, tablets. . .

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'One day this will all be yours.'

Call Center.

'This must be the Sea of Tranquility.'

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

Silly sausages

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

'Take a message...'

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

'Nope...1443 bloggers have already panned it.'

Sadie, this counseling won't work if you don't say what's bothering you. You'll just get upset. I won't. You will too. Will not. Will too. Will too. Will not will not WILL NOT. It bothers me that you're childish.

'I seem to have reached the limit of my unlimited internet plan.'

'We'll only have a five minute window, everything has to be timed to the last second.'

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

'And just FYI, I was a caterpillar when you first put me on hold!'

Sacred Cow Meets Cash Cow.

Assertiveness training - man answers phone; 'Can I get back to you? How about when I'm darned good and ready?'

"It is against computer viruses!"

Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You ok in there? I think I'm dying here. What? D'you need me to call 911? I don't think that'll help. I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city. Get off your phone!!! I'm saving the kingdom here! It's important!

'My son is fit and healthy so make sure he does his PE lesson today. . . Always proof read a 3rd party supplier contract. Love Mum.'

'Just once I'd like to hand up on a wrong number before they hang up on me!

“Something’s wrong with my android.”

'If you wish to complain please press 2 and then select the Death Metal band that you'd like to listen to while you are on hold.'

'Gimme the remote. I think you got it on slo-mo.'

"Hello, Mr. Gottlieb of Acme Telemarketing? Oh, did I interrupt your dinner...?"

Angry telephone call.

"Oh god. Where did I put my phone?"

"Is 'disgusted with the whole lot of them' a choice?"