Cellphone Czar Pillows

Back To School: Turn of cell phones, tablets. . .

Struggling with issues from his own childhood, the Bedroom Bandit would sneak in and jumble children's room across the nation. Not a mother believed it.

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

"Actually, I worked my way up from ideas and you can too!"

'One day this will all be yours.'

Call Center.

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

'This must be the Sea of Tranquility.'

Silly sausages

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

'Take a message...'

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

"Dave's away from his desk, I'm afraid. Can I take a message, or read you his browser history."

'Nope...1443 bloggers have already panned it.'

'I seem to have reached the limit of my unlimited internet plan.'

'My land line is always busy...that's my answering machine fending off robocalls.'

'We'll only have a five minute window, everything has to be timed to the last second.'

'And just FYI, I was a caterpillar when you first put me on hold!'

Sacred Cow Meets Cash Cow.

Assertiveness training - man answers phone; 'Can I get back to you? How about when I'm darned good and ready?'

"It is against computer viruses!"

'My son is fit and healthy so make sure he does his PE lesson today. . . Always proof read a 3rd party supplier contract. Love Mum.'

'If you wish to complain please press 2 and then select the Death Metal band that you'd like to listen to while you are on hold.'

“Something’s wrong with my android.”

'Just once I'd like to hand up on a wrong number before they hang up on me!

'Gimme the remote. I think you got it on slo-mo.'

"Is 'disgusted with the whole lot of them' a choice?"

"Oh god. Where did I put my phone?"

"Hello, Mr. Gottlieb of Acme Telemarketing? Oh, did I interrupt your dinner...?"

More and more people around the world are asking to be buried with their phones, in case of a premature burial...

Angry telephone call.