Canine Caper Gifts

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

'We're getting rid of that welcome mat starting today!'

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'Ok, Barker. I'll give you your own office - if you promise you won't mark it.'

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

"Hey, guys I found a way out."

"I've got something to tell you,Dad-I don't like fish...I mean I REALLY don't like fish...I HATE fish,Dad-there,I've said it now."

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

'You made me jump,'

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

Cookie Thief

'I said you could have ONE cookie!' 'I know. I took two HALF moon cookies...'

"You realize, I guess, that you've left your DNA on that."

Houdini's Dog.

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

Quick, bring me a stencil. Banksy's dog.

'Keep an eye out for the cookie police.'

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

"Rufus, stop being naughty with Mrs. Curtis!"

Bad Dog!

Ice Cream Lover

Man tries to shake clinging dog off his leg. Dog says to another dog: 'I suppose you could say I'm a people person.'

"You want twenty bones delivered? Are you sure Mr Jones? You usually order two bones a week."

Psychiatric Clinic. It's a very strange case of multiple personalities. He keeps trying to photobomb his own selfies.

'I'm in a barking cessation training program. This is how I express my hostility.'

"Can you come outside and help me. It appears Fido and I have tied the knot... "

A Cat is Kicked Out of A Yarn Shop.

"We keep getting billed from DoorDash. Who here has been ordering all this food?"