Canine Chaos Wrangler Pillows

"I strongly suggest that you reinvent yourself!"

'Which bag is the dog mess in?'

'I can't believe it! You left my sight for only two minutes but managed to chew on three pairs!!'

'I bit them and ran!' 'While the Doberman was giving them trouble, I bolted!'

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

Interior design trends for parents....

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

Dog In Your Face Comics

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

A child and his dog

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Jumping Dogs

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"Today is the day I start the new me!"

Parental Training Course

"I work out of my house filled with kids and pets. My hobby is trying to keep sane."

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'How many kids do you actually have?'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

"Can we forget about our dainty little tracks in the snow for five seconds and try to concentrate on what we're out here for?"

"You wouldn't believe a little dog like that could create so much hair."

'My dog chases everyone on a bicycle!'

'Coming through a pet door isn't as easy as it looks.'

"Year, pets do teach kids about responsibility. When they won't get off their butts, they know I'll be responsible."

"The thing with tiny kitchens is it's all about stacking, patience and resenting all your previous life choices."

'Why good dogs go bad.'