Canine Chaos Navigator Pillows

"Getting a puppy isn't so bad once you drink."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

The inhabitants of the jungle get tied up in rush hour traffic.

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

Stubborn Horse

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

Signs of Stress

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Dog In Your Face Comics

A dream of consequence

A child and his dog

Jumping Dogs

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

"Boy, has it been hacked!"

Having It All

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

'If anyone's still interested, the definition of entropy is ^,'

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'I wish I came in a child-proof container.'

Tax Department - Whammy/double whammy

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

Working from home.

"Don't worry. I'll be right back. I just need a little space."

Married Life - Poet unable to write because of noisy children

Going to the pub with kids...

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."