Home Chaos Wrangler Pillows

"I'm trying to find myself"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'Anthony! And all over my new carpet! Bad cat! Bad cat!'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"Not cool washing sheep in the dishwasher people!"

Parental Training Course

"Today is the day I start the new me!"

'How many kids do you actually have?'

'Now, you'd better pick up your toys or no bath!'

"I'm running a loose ship."

"It's perfectly all right. I used to do the same sort of thing when I was a little boy."

"Ya, that's right. Blame the help."

Working from home.

"The thing with tiny kitchens is it's all about stacking, patience and resenting all your previous life choices."

That's it...It's official. It's now an art installation!

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'

'Please excuse the mess guys.My husband's doing a correspondence course in Embalming.'

Kangaroo to upside down joey: 'Once again your room is in total disarray!'

'You must excuse us. Things are a bit upside-down at the moment.'

'Don't forget to wipe your feet.'

"I don't understand people who say children should be seen and not heard. Why would anyone want to hear them?"

Multitasking.

"When they say to use protection... this is what you're protecting against."

"Found it! The cat was using it as a pillow."

"Edna, have you fallen asleep in the bath again?"

'Ugh! Look at the state of our home office.'

"The last of the paperwork harvest is in."