Hyperactive Chaos Wrangler Pillows

'How many kids do you actually have?'

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Interior design trends for parents....

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

The First Martian Dog.

"What did you download at school today?"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

Parenting Business Deals

King kong 5 G.

'There! Now he's tied to my satisfaction and ready for surgery!'

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

'And then Dmitri noticed something that would have a profound effect on the human/robot wars.'

Cow Pilot.

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

Quiet Time

Automation of Security

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

Parental Training Course

"Today is the day I start the new me!"

"For the love of God Billy, you've got to stop putting things up your nose!"

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

"Henceforth I don't want you to start any new projects without consulting Professor Frankfurter or myself!"

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."