Canine Calamity Captain Gifts

"Whaddya gonna do? It's an act of dog."

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Cat park"

"We need to channel his energy into something positive."

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

"I'm running late for totally dignified reasons."

The Adventures of Wren Tin Tin

"Ahoy!"

"You're the on who said we couldn't afford to send him to obedience classes!"

'I told you we shouldn't have brought him.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Leak Soup. No, it's not a misspelling. The roof dripped into the casserole.

'I see you caught the fish, but the boat got away.'

Cat scratching chair. Chair falls on cat.

"Quick, act casual."

'He's at a very destructive age.'

"Dad, I found your paper and your slippers."

Giant squid attacks ship. Pirate asks: 'Who ordered the calamari?'

The Hazards of Dog Leashes

"If pressured, I will run!"

'If you need a parachute on this walk, what about me?'

Bad dog!

'Bless me father for I have sinned, I lied about my pie crusts not having lard in them, 12 times, and I killed my daughter's Schnauzer.'

Enlist now! K-9 Corps...'You're a cat!'

'Do you have a silent can opener? I have 3 dogs who pile all over me.'

"Hello 911? Yes it is an emergency. It's my ball. It's gone right under the sofa."

Rags wanted all the bones all the time.

"Teaching him to use a knife and fork was easy but he still can't tell a Merlot from a Chianti!"

Paint By Number

Cocker Spaniel.

Emergencies: The World Economy