Unexpected Canine Captain Gifts

'I told you we weren't pet people.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"I'm beginning to think that buy one, get one free is not always a good thing."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

An alien dog hangs its head out the flying saucer.

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

The Unsportables: Relay

"Hey, guys I found a way out."

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"I don't know what they do with it, son. I just harvest the data."

"Maybe we should consider changing the name."

'How come every time we go canoeing, you lose your paddle?'

Sportknitting

"I didn't say he was housebroken. I said he broke up the house."

"You'll have to speak up. Did I hear you say ou found the cure to shrink hemorrhoids?"

'This wasn't in the adventure brochure!'

"Mom, what's refraction?"

Out on the river

A pirate fishes using his hook.

Enlist now! K-9 Corps...'You're a cat!'

"Spinning, reefing, tacking...they sound like a dress making circle."

'I got tired of trying to get it into one of those tiny bottles.'

Rags wanted all the bones all the time.

'Thanks for the super pirate ship, Mum.'

Worst rebranding ever.

'If God brings the sun and rain, the earth brings our food and the stork brings babies-what's dad hanging around for?'

Rule 1: Wear a life jacket. Rule 2: Don't get all tangled up in the anchor rope.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

It's exhausting being a DNA molecule - there's so much to remember!

'Tou've just missed him. The dog's taking him for a walk.'

'I forgot to tell you - He's rather naughty about chasing cats...'