Candy Connoisseur T-Shirts

Senior Mints

"Hollow - just as I've always suspected."

Halloween Food Pyramid,

After taking daily supplements of Smarties, Glenn discovers that they actually do increase one's IQ.

'I'm afraid it's worse than we thought. The creamy nougat has spread to your head.'

"My mother wants to know if she can borrow a cup of jelly beans!"

The mint on the pillow? Why it's complimentary my dear, Watson!

'The Tooth Fairy and her evil twin, the Sweet-Tooth Fairy.'

"For your convenience, we ate all the candy you probably wouldn't like."

Counselling Officer Molly Coddle

Halloween treats for a horse

"I bought it as a buy-to-eat."

Peer review is the rigorous evaluation of scientific work by others.

"Another cavity-free visit for Timmy. Have a candy...take the whole box!"

"Those visions of sugar plums aren't an eye problem. You're just in the holiday spirit."

The dark side of Halloween.

'We're really sorry about this, but we just had to meet you. Our mother doesn't let us take candy from strangers.'

Office Trick-or-Treat

Candy Art Study

"I need a box of the gayest chocolate you've got."

"Trick or treat, and here's a list of my known food allergies."

Should We All Go To The Movies?

"Do I love myself or is it lust?"

"These are just as good as, if not better than, jelly beans."

Bubble Gum Dispenser

"Okay, this is the final week of Hispanic heritage month...let's explore the ramifications of 15th century Spanish colonialism."

"Therefore, when it bursts, the bubble gum will not stick to your nose."

'Has he taken my chocolates?'

"It's working! People are giving our chickens candy!"

"Our current bestseller is 100% chocolate."

"Now that Halloween is over, it's time for a much more serious tradition."

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

Three surgeons operate on a piñata.