Candy Aficionado T-Shirts

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"Too much sugar."

'What goes red, amber, green, red, amber, green?'

Circus peanuts are, ironically, not for circus elephants.

Dislocated Gumdrops.

'You swallowed a giant gum ball!? You know that never leaves your system, right?'

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

"You've got tough questions and you want answers. Or do you really want. . . Candy?!!"

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'

Easter Rabid

Easter Candy Menu

Bubble gum leaves

"He used to be a lot of fun. Now, it's in name only."

"I can't clean my room right now! Don't you always tell me to slow down and finish my meals?"

"Business is slow this week. Put out a bowl of peanut brittle on the waiting room table."

"With all the talk about junk food, I've very embarrassed to be living here."

"That will be ten pounds please fatty."

Gingerbread house with a warning (may contain nuts).

"Not bad, but have you guys been to the house where they're giving out full MFAs?"

'If you have 5 pieces of candy and you give Ben 2 pieces of candy, what do you have?'

Grandson more interested in sweets than love

". . . Let's stop playing games and start eating this candy."

"Woah, dis it thwick!"

"The second bag is a doggie bag for my schnauzer, Buddy."

"It's marzipan pigs."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Occu-Pie Mars

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'