Candy Aficionado T-Shirts

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"Too much sugar."

'What goes red, amber, green, red, amber, green?'

Circus peanuts are, ironically, not for circus elephants.

Dislocated Gumdrops.

'You swallowed a giant gum ball!? You know that never leaves your system, right?'

"May I please have a dollar?"

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

"You've got tough questions and you want answers. Or do you really want. . . Candy?!!"

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'

Easter Rabid

Easter Candy Menu

Bubble gum leaves

"He used to be a lot of fun. Now, it's in name only."

"I can't clean my room right now! Don't you always tell me to slow down and finish my meals?"

"Business is slow this week. Put out a bowl of peanut brittle on the waiting room table."

"With all the talk about junk food, I've very embarrassed to be living here."

"That will be ten pounds please fatty."

2nd Annual National Pinata Birthday Bash

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

Gingerbread house with a warning (may contain nuts).

"Not bad, but have you guys been to the house where they're giving out full MFAs?"

'If you have 5 pieces of candy and you give Ben 2 pieces of candy, what do you have?'

Grandson more interested in sweets than love

". . . Let's stop playing games and start eating this candy."

"Lay off the jelly beans."

"Woah, dis it thwick!"

"The second bag is a doggie bag for my schnauzer, Buddy."

"It's marzipan pigs."

Where am I? Hospital. Saint Snickers. Hospital? Why? You got so mad at huge oil company profits that you passed out. Saint Snickers?! Corporate sponsor. Doctor says no yelling.

"The peep was so cute they wanted to eat him up. And they did... head first."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Occu-Pie Mars

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'