Candy Collector Gifts

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

You're in violation of several bylaws, ma'am: Too many peppermint sticks, gingerbread shingles, sugar pollution of storm sewers - And with all the kids we've seen go in there, your occupancy clearly exceeds ordinances.

Well, there's a sure sign of an economic downturn - Cheap Candy!

"O.K., trick or treat, please. Don't mess with me, lady - I'm on a sugar high."

"If you don't give me any candy, I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life!"

"Steroids."

"Change in strategy...we can't get candy from people who faint."

"Oh, now I remember you. You used to be fun-size, right?"

"Hey Evelyn! Where's that stuff that tasted funny?"

"Trick or Trea..."

"About your stocking up on jelly beans - is there something investors should know?"

"Of course we're going to share. You can have all the healthy stuff."

Trick-or-Treat At Own Risk

"Lick or treat!"

"This way I don't have to lug around that big bag."

"Does this make me look greedy?"

"I'm not really sure jelly beans cure anything."

"Hey Rayna, want some candy?"

Trunk or Treat

"If you ask me, this supply chain business has already gone way too far. . ."

"I got some dental floss."

'I just have candy, but you can probably use it to attract flies.'

"Halloween is getting so impersonal."

"This is the candy we're handing out...and this is our trick-or-treat bag. Halloween is all about a high return on a low investment."

"Looks like word's gotten out that this is a great neighborhood for trick-or-treaters."

Halloween through the ages.

Trick Number 9: plant valuables in his room...in case you need a reason for a quick getaway.

"There! I have enough reserves to seriously consider retirement. All my years of hard work have paid off! This Halloween pushed me over the 50-pound mark."

"Now that halloween is over, how many days until Christmas?"

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

Chocolate Easter Bunnies multiplying

"Most of them have candy. This one's filled with nuts."

"Oh, that one? Why I'll be – it's a Skittle!"

"Can we have all of your candy, a dog biscuit and a smoke for my cat friend here?"

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"