Can Opener Connoisseur Pillows

"Aye, now that I'm retired, the can opener seemed more practical."

Tartine

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

Canape?

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Pet Entertainers

Dog Walker

With Compliments

Shaved Ice

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

Man frozen in portrait pose.

"You know damn well what noise!"

Moliere

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

Christmas Canapes

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

Rishi Sunak

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

'Must...find...something...intelligent..!'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."