Campus Life Observer Gifts

'Professor, Professor, the slaves are, I mean, the PhD students are revolting!'

City of Round Holes welcomes you to the University of Square Pegs.

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

'Wentworth Street, Whitechapel'

Terry had a computer bug.

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'In general, do the right thing.'

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

St. Elmo's fired.

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

Life and Death

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

Safe spaces?

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

Thanks, I'd like to accept the job, but what is the salary? Sorry, it's against company policy to disclose that!

The new boy was teased for being different.

'Put simply, we need our website to tell consumers all about our company without really telling them anything about our company,'

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

In case of panic, push button.

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'