Campfire Quester Gifts

"I couldn't make a fire, but after rubbing sticks so long, I'm not cold anymore!"

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

The Brothers Grime

Harsh Mellows.

"This is a tune about going off the grid and getting back to nature."

Roasting the Moneybox

'The Torch Holder'.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

"Okay lets go. You can message your friends after dinner."

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"Let’s not speak of this, Tommy – scouts’ honor?"

Flash Cuisine

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

'Heidegger-Hi!'

Creepy Camp Stories.

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

"He must be a pro. He's got his own stick."

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

"Let me take you back to a dark time when all you could do with a phone was make phone calls."

"You were right, Louis. . . I was cold before, but now it's warm and toasty."

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

Nobody likes a smore loser

'Is the fire included?'

'Come on kids - it's just a story!'

"First camping trip, Billy?"

Marshmallow Roast

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

"I'll make a deal with you! If you stop singing Row, Row, Row Your Boat, I'll help you finish your requirements!"

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."