Calorie Counter With A Twist Pillows

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

All Natural Nothing

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

Secretive Weigh In.

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Dieting Motivation.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Diet considerations.'

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.