Calorie Counter With A Conscience Pillows

"Welcome to Smart Eating Weight Loss. We've changed our menu options... have you?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

All Natural Nothing

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

Secretive Weigh In.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

Dieting Motivation.

'Diet considerations.'

Sisyphus Sawyer

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.