Cheeky Calorie Counters Pillows

"Maybe I'll just put these cookies back."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

All Natural Nothing

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Secretive Weigh In.

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'Diet considerations.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Dieting Motivation.

Sisyphus Sawyer

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'