Calorie Counter Enthusiast Pillows

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

All Natural Nothing

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

Secretive Weigh In.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

'Diet considerations.'

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

Dieting Motivation.

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Sisyphus Sawyer

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

Extra Rich Cream Cakes

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Hey, Victoria...I like this diet you told me about yesterday...I just lost 2 more while we've been talking.'